Well, I'm finally going to begin my New Year's Resolution.
Many a moon ago (roughly 2 months ago, that is) I decided I was going to embark on a serious, life altering, health conscious exercise regimen. Original resolution, no?
I'd been really half-assing it for years, so I figured it was time to get on the ball and go for it. I mean, one can only claim to be deliberating about such things for so long. Sooner or later, someone's gonna start to question your sincerity. And that person should be punched. Hard.
Although, I do think it's totally reasonable to take approximately 5 years to decide on the perfect exercise machine. Haste makes waste. Right? It took me 27 years to find the perfect cheeseburger. And, HOO BOY, was I looking. 5 years? That's nothing. I'm a veritable whiz kid at this exercise stuff. WATCH OUT BOB HARPER.
The problem is I get so bored with exercise. After much deliberation about what kind of exercise would hold my attention, I decided upon purchasing an elliptical. I feel this is ideal for several reasons. You can read a book, you can listen to music, you can watch television if you so desire. The important point I'm trying to stress here is that you can space out. I need that.
Call me crazy, but when I think about waking up every morning to subject my multiple fat cells to what can only be described as torture, I start getting the shakes. The kind that can only be cured with chocolate cake. Or liquor. Or both. So, you know, distraction become key.
I know someone out there right now is asking why I don't just go to the gym. Well, there's a logical answer to that: The gym is gross. For so many reasons. Oh sure, people "clean" their sweat off a machine, but if you worked in the public service industry like I do, you'd know that the honor system is crap. With a capital C. Work in your own sweat, steroid boy.
Also, the people at the gym make me nervous. I suppose part of that is my own insecurity about my body and it's ability to work various large bits of machinery. So, for now, I'm just going to go ahead and look like a dehydrated monkey in the privacy of my own home.
The box containing the elliptical arrived Monday. I'm planning to assemble this bad boy over the weekend, much to Brian's disappointment. I feel his pain. I wouldn't want to be my assistant either. I'm what some of you might call "demanding." Others of you might call it "Crazy." To each their own.
Many a moon ago (roughly 2 months ago, that is) I decided I was going to embark on a serious, life altering, health conscious exercise regimen. Original resolution, no?
I'd been really half-assing it for years, so I figured it was time to get on the ball and go for it. I mean, one can only claim to be deliberating about such things for so long. Sooner or later, someone's gonna start to question your sincerity. And that person should be punched. Hard.
Although, I do think it's totally reasonable to take approximately 5 years to decide on the perfect exercise machine. Haste makes waste. Right? It took me 27 years to find the perfect cheeseburger. And, HOO BOY, was I looking. 5 years? That's nothing. I'm a veritable whiz kid at this exercise stuff. WATCH OUT BOB HARPER.
The problem is I get so bored with exercise. After much deliberation about what kind of exercise would hold my attention, I decided upon purchasing an elliptical. I feel this is ideal for several reasons. You can read a book, you can listen to music, you can watch television if you so desire. The important point I'm trying to stress here is that you can space out. I need that.
Call me crazy, but when I think about waking up every morning to subject my multiple fat cells to what can only be described as torture, I start getting the shakes. The kind that can only be cured with chocolate cake. Or liquor. Or both. So, you know, distraction become key.
I know someone out there right now is asking why I don't just go to the gym. Well, there's a logical answer to that: The gym is gross. For so many reasons. Oh sure, people "clean" their sweat off a machine, but if you worked in the public service industry like I do, you'd know that the honor system is crap. With a capital C. Work in your own sweat, steroid boy.
Also, the people at the gym make me nervous. I suppose part of that is my own insecurity about my body and it's ability to work various large bits of machinery. So, for now, I'm just going to go ahead and look like a dehydrated monkey in the privacy of my own home.
The box containing the elliptical arrived Monday. I'm planning to assemble this bad boy over the weekend, much to Brian's disappointment. I feel his pain. I wouldn't want to be my assistant either. I'm what some of you might call "demanding." Others of you might call it "Crazy." To each their own.
1 comment:
Wow, cool! Good luck on with the new machine. I love my treadmill. It's a great place to dry clothes or set boxes, and everything I look at it, it at least makes me FEEL like I exercise. In my mind, I use it constantly.
Seriously though, it really is good to exercise, but you are right, it's really boring. If I was going to buy a machine I'd buy an elliptical too. :)
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