Soon, I will enter the land of mid to late twenties. I suppose you could say that I'm already there, but why would you? It's such a weird thing to realize you are getting older. Of course everyone knows they are getting older, otherwise the world would be populated by really weird babies and toddlers as we reverse aged. Let's not think about that.
I can tell I'm getting older, as I frequently talk about things like mortgages and potential spawning. Only but a few years ago, I would have run screaming in the other direction had I met the current incarnation of myself. Now though, it just seems like the right thing to do. I pass "For Sale" signs on houses with my neck craned for a better look, and my uterus pretty much tries to accost every child it sees. It is all very disturbing.
How did this happen? Parents never really warn you of this stuff. Sure, sure. They say stuff like, "You have to learn responsibility," or "You will have to clean your own house one day so you better get off your rump and clean mine right now so you know how to do it." Like we didn't get the basic concept of washing dishes. Yeah, I get it. I don't need to do it a million times to learn. This whole "clean your own house" thing is crap--just have kids and they will apparently do it all.
So you see, my concept of growing up was a little warped. I figured you got a dog for responsibility, and maybe eventually got one of those kids when you were tired of doing your own dishes.
I was very disappointed.
But only for a short while. Now I'm married and happy and discussing mortgage options. Scary. I will never cease to amaze at the wonder of human biology. It surely has to be involved somehow. How else did I learn all this? And, how did I get so far in life without purchasing a ill-advised dog? And, most importantly, what lies about adulthood will I eventually pass on to my own children, no matter how accidentally?
Maybe I'll just start off with the dog, commit to paper plates, and hope they turn out a little more normal then myself.
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